Meeeeeeeeeee's Blog

my boys

November 6, 2011
1 Comment

My boys are doing so amazingly well,Robin may be on Jeremy Kyle this month as an inspirational child and the microcephaly awareness day was amazing such support shown.

My youngest still has problems walking his boots from the orthopedic at the hospital help a little the nightly physio on his feet and ankles are keeping his tendons supple his latest seizure meds which have been upped a little are fingers crossed working a little better so less seizures.The autistiuc part of him is a work in progress he is so bright,his nickname is Sheldon aka shelly bean (if you have seem big bang theory Sheldon character is so like him) the only issue that really seems to concern him at the moment and as a child who keeps on asking as once its on his mind he wont stop asking until he gets a suitable answer,it  is at the moment grandad can I see him? my dad passed away after his battle with cancer and he comprehends in a childlike way he can’t see grandad as he is in heaven.He is aware he has a mom and a dad who both have parents so he has another grandad a paternal one.

conversation goes something like this…

I..Can I see grandad.

Myself..Grandad is in heaven you remember.

I..I know,I mean my dads one.

Myself..hmm I will have to talk to them or your dad about it.

I..ok phone them,they can come to my house.

Myself..ok son I will see what I can do.

This conversation then was continued and brought up regularly and small few day intervals.

I..send my picture to grandad

Myself..err which grandad?

I..the one who isnt dead,whats his name? does he look like daddy or me? does he have a moustache like your dad?

(after lots of questions about him I couldnt answer..)

Myself..ok I will write to daddy and ask him to answer your questions.

I..ok you can phone him at work.

myself..he might be busy.

I..he might not be.

After a couple of months of these questions and him getting frustrated by my lack of being able to answer his questions and his father ignoring his sons plea for his help filling in the gaps (via my phone call and letter explaining his son requires his help support or input on questions he asked) I decided to go to the organ grinder not the monkey.I wrote to the grandparents saying basically the questions their grandson is asking and if they would fill in the blanks and Offered if they wish to see him as never have or contacted to ask the offer still stands.

His dad was phoned by a Third party to say as he was not being a help towards his son I had gone via his parents and wrote to them,he was not happy.But desperate times call for desperate measures.I recieved a letter a few days later stating until the night before they didn’t know we existed as their son knowing the letter was coming dropped the bomb shell.Ugh I felt bad as 1: what if they are really old shock is no good. 2:why would a father be ashamed of a child not wanting to share him with family.

I am still non the wiser on any details for my sons questions as his grandmother said let the shock sink in and will decide what they want at not to build on expectations also had my motives for bringing this to their attention questioned?

ok yes shock I agree but four months on no decision! Yes decided what they want,but shouldn’t it be as a young child what the child needs not a whats going to effect them as what harm is sending a young boy a christmas card or a birthday card or a trip for an hours drive in a car to see sports day nativity play.

questioning my motives..Shouldn’t they question how come their son hid pregnancy and birth and childs life from them,how didn’t they notice any character mood swings I know if my children are lying upset worried etc Why their son felt scared guilty or ashamed to talk to them.yes maybe their christian attitude to having a child out of wedlock was a factor,but surely rejecting a child is a greater sin.








New year..whats in store?

December 31, 2008

At this time of year people generally reflect on the past and whats instore for the future.I am no exception to that as I said in an early post I re-read an old post on my 20 six blog which was a me me,and a few things that I wanted to do and wanted to change.

want to do: Hot air balloon ride

:see robin achieve simple things that other children can,ie walk without falling,ride bike,write name
:drop barriers regarding men and trust men.
:do more charity work,with charity I co founded

Hot air balloon ride will be taking place in february,I was quite poorly last year and had serious health scare a friend who knew I wanted to go in a hot air balloon for ride before I died and brought me a champagne balloon flight.See robin achieve things other children take for granted,he has done amazing and I have seen him achieve all these and more.
Drop barriers and trust men,did drop them and trust a man then got hurt badly as many of you may remember from 20 six, so they are up again more firmly than ever and cant see them being dropped in forseeable that will have to be a work in progress.
Do more charity work I set up a support group for microcephaly and held a national awareness day on 30th september and had to co-ordinate all over uk,and had to do press release and numerous press interviews,nick owen OBE was very helpful really lovely guy,was really weird time corresponding with Downing street and her majesty the went well with thousands of people wearing red,portsmouth bus company wore red for the day so did the local schools lovely karen did work that part uk for us with my photo out of paper nearly whole page spread.Tracey did london area and I did staffordshire and surrounding area and was invited to give a talk,I am not a very good public speaker and it clashed with Isaacs CT scan so I allocated it someone else.

so looking back I have achieved many things and what have I learnt on the journey?? not to stress about things I have no control over,ie Isaacs illness if drs have problems controling it then I’m not alone not knowing what to do for best and peoples opinions of me who,think because i’m nice they can take advantage of me.I’ve learnt that people will make mistakes and apportion blame without looking inside themselves and not to take it personally,and that even if you have good intentions to help someone they may not see your intentions until they look inside themselves.I’ve learnt that what makes you happy is counting your blessings not your money.(so if your not happy change it,if your job not giving satisfaction get new one,if relationship is making you unhappy,leave it for both sakes if you have a dream go for it..lifes not about how many breaths you take,it’s about what takes your breath away,people come and go in your life friends,partners,colleuges the only person who will always be with you is yourself,so be true to yourself and be happy)

I have a roof over my head that has everything I need in it and all paid for so have no debts apart from the normal rent,council tax amenities etc..I have a small amount of savings for an emergency.I’m not a high maintainence girl as long as my children have needs met I’m happy.I have happy well brought up children who I’m very proud of and am always being complimented on how polite and that they are a credit to me.

so what resolutions do I make and want to change for 2009.

Apart from having someone to share my things with and laugh and love with and spoil rotten as Im incredible romantic (but you can be lonelier in an unhappy relationship than being single and thats worse) actually I wouldn’t change a thing,I like myself I’m a good person with good intentions and a good heart.
It’s took me a while to learn to love myself but I do.

As I had to restart blogging due to 20 six changes and a broken pc I’ve missed lots of friends birthdays and christmas presents also,so I’m giving new years presents
So if my friends give me their address
I will post out your gifts that I’ve tried to choose to suit your personalities.

Happy new year
Love Fraggle xx